Ask Why am I Comparing Myself to Others Looking for the Deeper Reason

November 16, 2018


It's inevitable, we all do it. We all tend to look at someone who seems to have it all together and we wonder why we can't be like them. We may even envy others who do something so much better than we do.


I personally have looked at mothers of large families who seem to run like a perfectly well oiled machine. I'll admit it. I'm jealous. Their house is always clean, everyone is so mannerly, kids have Bible verses memorized. It seems so perfect. I'm sitting over here and my house is mess, my kids are fighting and I think there's now food involved. Did we even talk about the Bible today? And what is that smell?! Seriously....where is that smell coming from?


It's human nature. We all compare ourselves to what we wish we could be. But I'm going to offer you two thoughts today. First, stop comparing yourself. Just STOP right now. Every family always seems to be perfect on the outside. You know that saying...the dishes are always cleaner in the other house. Wait, I think I got that wrong, but you get the idea.


You don't know what actually goes on behind closed doors. You don't know if momma might feel like she's not enough. She may feel so stressed and overwhelmed that she's pulling it all together and has no time to just sit and enjoy life. Her house might fall apart into its own levels of chaos once the door is closed, or the camera isn't out. She might envy me that I can just chill and play games with the kids while my house is in chaos and seemingly not stressed about it (although, if you've seen my house...I doubt it!)


Second, when we get those guilty comparing feelings rising up, we can utilize thoughts to help ourselves. Why are we feeling that way? If we feel like someone else is a better mother than we are...why? Because we want to be the best possible mother that we can be for our kids. Think about that for a minute. We need to give ourselves credit that we are wanting to be the best for them. And I guarantee you, if you're trying, you are. I've felt like a failure in the past and my teens have told me that they didn't care one bit about those things that I felt I failed in. They look back on our fun memories...not on how good I scrubbed the kitchen floors. Those things didn't really matter to them! At all! Amazing isn't it!


If you wish you could be a better wife, it's because you care enough about your husband to want to give him the best. It's because you care about your marriage and you want it to succeed. If you wish you could be better at your career, it's because you care about your job. If you wish that you could do better at memorizing scripture it's because you care about your relationship with God.


Do you notice a theme yet? You care. That's what I want you to take away today. If you care and you try...then you are succeeding! Life isn't perfect, we're not going to be perfect. So cut yourself some slack (read my posts "Forgive yourself Momma" and "Measuring yourself with Someone Else's Tape Measure").  Drink that extra cup of coffee, slip away for some alone time in the tub (ha...I haven't managed that one yet), and eat a piece of chocolate. Enjoy that game of hide and seek with the toddler where you're literally just hiding under a pillow on the couch because your dishes can wait. I guarantee you, when we pass away, they will not write "She always had an immaculate kitchen" in your eulogy. Enjoy your life.

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Autumn Semones

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