I have a to-do list a mile long. It's not just a onetime thing, this is my daily routine. Every day I have a huge page of things I need or want to try to accomplish. They include everything from writing goals, chore goals, devotional time with God, exercise goals, etc etc.
I don't think I've ever had a day where I have hit every single thing on my list but I've come pretty close. I do have days, however, where absolutely nothing gets done. I do not mark a single thing off of my list. I feel like a failure.
Recently, I happened upon a few days where a recurring theme seemed to come to me over and over. It was about forgiving yourself for not doing anything. It was about people valuing what you do and not who you are. It was about being so busy and not just living. Then it hit me.
I realized that during those days where I'm considering myself a failure because no red check marks went across my to-do list, something magical actually happened. On those days, I rested. On those days I spent more time with my kids, just sitting, enjoying, being. We were doing nothing...nothing serious anyway. Sometimes just watching shows...sometimes just playing video games. But we were being ourselves and enjoying time together, just having fun.
Those days that I count as a failure, those are actually the days that I connect deeper with those around me because I'm not so busy doing, I'm busy being. Of course I can't live like this every day. The house has to get cleaned. I have to exercise for my health. I have to mark things off the list because those are my responsibilities. You can't literally live each day as if it were your last, because it isn't. You have to find a happy balance. I just needed to learn to look at them without a conventional measuring stick. I need to pry the guilt from my eyes and look deeper. Those days, oh those magical moments of stillness and just being. Those days are actually the biggest success that I could ever have in my life.