I was channel checking the other day and I came across one of those shopping channels. The lady who was selling whatever item it was...maybe jewelry? I don't know...she was so beautiful. She was probably slightly older than me, with beautiful blonde hair, a perfect dark golden tan, immaculate nails, flawless makeup application. In other words, she was everything I had ever hopped to look like.
All throughout my teenage and adult life, I have always had the image in my mind of what I wanted myself to look like. I have always fallen short. I'm just not a fashionista by any stretch of the imagination. I've never got it right when it comes to clothes, nail, hair, or makeup. When I buy makeup it always turns out wrong, when I buy an outfit it always turns out wrong, when I get my hair done it always turns out wrong. Notice a pattern? I can tan (when I'm in the sun which isn't often because other than gardening, I just don't enjoy it) but whenever I tan you can see all the imperfections and scars on my skin. I just don't measure up.
As I was watching the woman pushing these items on TV I realize something that I probably should have realized many years ago. I have been measuring myself with someone else's tape measure. I can't possibly measure up to what I'm not supposed to be if I'm trying to be something I'm not. How much time and energy this would have saved me if I would have realized it long ago.
I'm getting to the point in my life where I'm trying not to focus on that tape measure quite as much and instead looking at other areas in my life that I can change. I'm trying not to compare myself, my beauty, my talents, my skill, my parenting (and on and on and on) to other women because I realize that it doesn't help me improve my life any. I am trying not to focus on trying to improve my beauty any because at the end of the day all of that fades away. In the end, trying to measure myself with someone else's tape measure has been a waste of so much of my time. I'm ready to throw away the tape measure altogether.